Hey, I used to tell Clinton jokes too!
But when I told Clinton jokes, they were about semen, cigars, and dresses.
There was no fodder for jokes like this one (again, I steal from my favorite internet guy over at Polka Boy).
RIDDLE:
Q: How many five-week vacations did FDR and Winston Churchill take during WWII?
A: Fuck Bush!
Then one of the commenters at his blog shared this joke:
How many members of the Bush Administration does it take to change a light bulb?
- One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed.
- One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs to be
changed. - One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb.
- One to tell the nations of the world that they are either responsible for changing the light bulb or for darkness.
- One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Haliburton for the new light bulb.
- One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing on a stepladder under the banner: Lightbulb Change Accomplished.
- One administration insider to resign and write a book documenting in detail how Bush was literally in the dark.
- One to viciously smear #7.
- One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush has had a strong light bulb changing policy all along.
- And finally one to confuse Americans about the difference between screwing a light bulb and screwing the country.
But the biggest laugh of all was B2’s presidential mailbag! “Thanks for writing, ‘mom’!”
And to prove that I laugh at people from any political party, and that I can take it as well as I can dish it out…
I remember when the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal broke. I was working in the ER at the time. I go into a patient’s room, and the guy and his friend were looking at me with sheepish grins on their faces.
Me: “What?”
Them: “Man, you look just like that Monica Lewinsky girl!”
Me: “Oh, that’s nice. What next; should I give you my address so you can just go and SET FIRE TO MY HOME?”
Men, I have some advice for you.
- Never try to guess a woman’s age, unless you totally lowball it.
- Never ask when the baby is due, unless you have written confirmation from two physicians that the woman is, indeed, pregnant.
- Never tell a woman she looks just like someone that everyone in late night television is calling fat and ugly.
The guys assured me they didn’t mean it as an insult.
Well, you be the judge. I’m too lazy to scan a pic of me from 1997, but my nursing pic is close. Add 10 pounds, shorten the hair a bit, and that’s what I looked like when working in the ER. OK, 15 pounds, damn you.
No resemblance. Fat and brunette do not doppelgangers make.
B totally rocks my socks! As for the likeness to Monica…I don’t see it either. Infact I hope you kicked whoever in the shin for even saying you look like her.
Comment by groovebunny — Saturday, August 13, 2005 @ 3:28 am
It was just the bangs, that’s all. But yeah, ER nurse or not, I’d have punched ‘em both in the head.
Comment by Noelle — Saturday, August 13, 2005 @ 10:03 am
The problem with the joke is, I don’t find it funny, I actually find it sad. When did this country go to such shit? I used to be that people in the president’s own party could disagree with the president and get away with it. Now it’s a death knell to the person’s career. It was Republican’s that led the effort to remove Nixon from office. Could you imagine Republicans trying to get Bush out? Or Democrats trying to get Clinton out for that matter?
And speaking of Clinton, you don’t look like Monica at all.
Comment by Brian — Saturday, August 13, 2005 @ 12:27 pm
Comment by drunkenlagomorph — Saturday, August 13, 2005 @ 12:58 pm
Maybe the cheekbones are kind of the same. Other than that, no. Plus you look much, much thinner.
Comment by Jodie — Saturday, August 13, 2005 @ 1:00 pm
I hope you submit your post about farts and boners to the Grand Rounds this week. And if you don’t - I guess I’ll just have to include it anyway, as Editor’s Choice. I laughed when I first read it. I just cryed laughing while reading it again.
Comment by coturnix — Saturday, August 13, 2005 @ 5:23 pm
Definitely the bangs. That’s why you also look like Betty Page
Comment by eden — Saturday, August 13, 2005 @ 8:57 pm