Tuesday, August 9, 2005

Episode 2 of…

Filed under: Go directly to jail - drunkenlagomorph @ 12:44 pm

* Events written about in this entry are fictional, and are not at all based upon what I may or may not have seen at work last night. Any resemblance to real-life morons and true cluster-fuck events is purely coincidental.

If you are a Spanish-speaking inmate, we will do everything we can to provide interpreters for you if you have questions of the cell block deputies, or if you need medical assistance, or what have you.

However, for a handfull of you to try and organize a riot (with talk of killing guards!) because you think that the other hundreds of inmates in the jail should have to watch your preference of Spanish-speaking TV channels is a bit too much, don’t you think?

All of the inmates in each cell block have to vote upon which of the 100-plus cable TV channels to watch at any given time during the day or evening. Since this is, um, America, naturally the vote usually goes to select English-speaking TV shows.

And you want to throw a temper tantrum about that?

Let me spell it out for you. I speak English. If I moved to Mexico and got arrested, I wouldn’t expect everyone I came into contact with to speak English. It’s Mexico. They speak Spanish in Mexico. I knew this before I went to Mexico. I wouldn’t expect the hundreds of fellow prisoners in the jail to watch TV shows in English — a language they couldn’t understand — just for my convenience. I’d either learn to speak Spanish, or I’d shut the fuck up and make a mental note to not get arrested in a non-English-speaking country again.

So, to all of the inmates who think they should riot (cause hundreds of thousands of dollars in property destruction and hurt/kill deputies and other inmates) so they can watch Spanish-speaking TV shows which most of their fellow inmates cannot understand:

If you want to sit around a jail with free room and board and watch Spanish-speaking TV programs all day, then get arrested in a Spanish-speaking country.

More tips:

Tips for the Incarcerated, Episode 1
And don’t EVEN whine to me about the food!


6 Comments »

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  1. Not a fan of multiculturalism then?

    Comment by MikeS — Tuesday, August 9, 2005 @ 3:24 pm

  2. Yeah Mike, you condescending pompous ass, that’s fucking it. I think inmates and guards deserve to get hurt or die because six people out of 300 should have their whims catered to. I believe that three hundred other people shouldn’t get to watch TV so six people can. And I believe that every American should learn to speak every other language on the globe, so that if someone from any other country visits the US and runs into us, we can cater to their every need.

    Lord knows, if someone is a minority and doesn’t get their way about a trivial matter, it’s not because they’re being unreasonable. It’s because we’re bigots against their culture.

    You’re a goddamn moron.

    If it was six cracker-ass-crackers who were going to riot (hurt and kill people) because they wanted to watch wrestling, and the other 294 cracker-ass-crackers wanted to watch NASCAR (and because they were the majority they got their way), I’d be equally as pissed. Except instead of telling them to get arrested in a different country, I’d tell them to get arrested in a county that had more NASCAR fans.

    Comment by drunkenlagomorph — Tuesday, August 9, 2005 @ 10:53 pm

  3. I think you should tell us how you really feel. Haha!

    I wonder what Mike looks like with that new one you just ripped him. Haha!

    Comment by Brian — Wednesday, August 10, 2005 @ 11:41 am

  4. Well Brian, I don’t like being called a bigot.

    Bigots suck.

    I do everything I can to facilitate communication with my Spanish-speaking patients (interpreters, special translated forms, etc.) I don’t expect people to instantly learn English when they come here.

    But to threaten to hurt and kill others because you didn’t get to watch Telemundo when the majority of the cell block voted to watch something else is over-the-top.

    I also hate internet bullies like Mike who go around leaving snippy, rude comments (on ONLY WOMENS BLOGS, I’d bet) and putting words in people’s mouths just to feel self-superior.

    So to summarize Brian, of course I’m going to tell you how I really feel. Isn’t that what blogs are for? This is MINE.

    Comment by drunkenlagomorph — Wednesday, August 10, 2005 @ 11:51 am

  5. LOL! You go, Girl!!!! ;)

    Comment by Leigh — Wednesday, August 10, 2005 @ 1:42 pm

  6. que?

    Comment by Dennis — Thursday, August 11, 2005 @ 2:49 am

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