Episode 2 of…
* Events written about in this entry are fictional, and are not at all based upon what I may or may not have seen at work last night. Any resemblance to real-life morons and true cluster-fuck events is purely coincidental.
If you are a Spanish-speaking inmate, we will do everything we can to provide interpreters for you if you have questions of the cell block deputies, or if you need medical assistance, or what have you.
However, for a handfull of you to try and organize a riot (with talk of killing guards!) because you think that the other hundreds of inmates in the jail should have to watch your preference of Spanish-speaking TV channels is a bit too much, don’t you think?
All of the inmates in each cell block have to vote upon which of the 100-plus cable TV channels to watch at any given time during the day or evening. Since this is, um, America, naturally the vote usually goes to select English-speaking TV shows.
And you want to throw a temper tantrum about that?
Let me spell it out for you. I speak English. If I moved to Mexico and got arrested, I wouldn’t expect everyone I came into contact with to speak English. It’s Mexico. They speak Spanish in Mexico. I knew this before I went to Mexico. I wouldn’t expect the hundreds of fellow prisoners in the jail to watch TV shows in English — a language they couldn’t understand — just for my convenience. I’d either learn to speak Spanish, or I’d shut the fuck up and make a mental note to not get arrested in a non-English-speaking country again.
So, to all of the inmates who think they should riot (cause hundreds of thousands of dollars in property destruction and hurt/kill deputies and other inmates) so they can watch Spanish-speaking TV shows which most of their fellow inmates cannot understand:
If you want to sit around a jail with free room and board and watch Spanish-speaking TV programs all day, then get arrested in a Spanish-speaking country.
More tips:
Tips for the Incarcerated, Episode 1
And don’t EVEN whine to me about the food!
