Last night was the first “deputy in distress” code I’ve experienced since working at the jail. When the call came out over the radio, I looked at the other nurse I worked with and we were both thinking the same thing: BETTER NOT BE FUCKING WITH OUR OFFICERS! OH NO YOU DIDN’T!

The deputies don’t always like or respect the nurses at the jail. Sometimes we make more work for them, like insisting that the person blowing a 0.425 gets a medical clearance from an ER doc before we accept them. That’s when they try to tell us that the firefighters have already cleared them medically.

Excuse me, but firefighters don’t work here, are not bound by the standing orders written by our chief medical officer physician, and aren’t the ones who have to take care of the inmate. Also, just because they have penises does not mean that their medical wisdom is above mine. I respect EMTs, because I started out as one. I respect paramedics, because I was one. But then I went on and became an RN, and I now have 15 years medical experience. Don’t make me fucking discuss my resume and credentials with you just because I have a uterus, K?

ANYWAY, back to my point. The deputy being “acted upon” by the inmate ended up being OK.

But it reminded me that my old code of “any officer in uniform is MY officer, and ya don’t fuck with them” that I had from my EMS days is still alive and well. Even though, as an RN, the officers don’t have the respect for me and the comaraderie with me that they had way back when I was a paramedic.

After the incident, the other nurse and I were talking with the sargeant about how pissed off we would have been if the inmate had actually hurt an officer.

In conversation, both myself and the other nurse relayed to the (male) sargeant that we felt that way despite the fact that we had been let down by/had reason to be mistrustful of police agencies in the past.

As our stories spilled out, I was shocked at the sheer number of times that both of us have been let down by select few officers (in other states).

Once, she had called the cops because she had a restraining order against her soon-to-be ex-husband. They showed up and stood around and watched him beat her. Then, after he had broken two of her ribs and her nose, they put HER in handcuffs. Why did this happen? Her husband was a police officer.

I didn’t even try to call the cops when my (now ex) husband turned from emotionally abusive to physically abusive. He was a firefighter, and even though the cops in my hometown were awesome for the most part, I knew from my EMS days they have no sympathy for battered wives, and they have a lot of allegiance to firefighters.

Also, once I was in an accident where a man tried to make a left turn from the far right lane and crashed into me. The officer that responded FROM THE DERBY, KANSAS POLICE DEPARTMENT (yeah, I’m talkin to you!) tried everything to frame me for the accident. Let me make it clear: I was driving straight down the road when someone TURNED THEIR CAR AND SLAMMED INTO MINE. It was very clear that I was 0% at fault. The cop even went so far as to say that it was my fault the guy hit the right side of my car, because my front driver-side tire was 8 inches over the double yellow line on the left side of the car (where my car was pushed when the other guy crashed into me). The guy even told the officer repeatedly, “Hey, it was MY fault! Why are you trying to blame her?” (Even though he later “caught on” to the officer’s intentions and told his insurance agency that it was my fault. I was still found blameless in the accident.)

Ya know, I still can’t believe that happened. It was fucking UNREAL. Power in the wrong hands can be a frightening thing.

But despite these bad experiences, and some other bad experiences since, I will always have the utmost love and respect for law enforcement officers. Every profession has its assholes. But if push came to shove, even the asshole cops out there are willing to DIE for STRANGERS.

How can you not be loyal to that?

I still hope the cop that tried to blame me for the car wreck gets infected hemorrhoids and chronic explosive diarrhea. Rot in hell, ya woman-hating bastard!

But for the rest of you in uniform out there — you may or may not treat me very kindly if we ever cross paths (I’m not a cute, thin young thing in a miniskirt any more), but I still send you much love and pray you stay safe. Thanks for everything that you do for all of us.