Mommy Martyr Blogs
There are two types of mommy blogs.
The first type consist of the cool moms who blog about funny kid stories and all aspects of their lives. These women are more than just a uterus and working eggs. They’re people with brains.
I enjoy reading these blogs, and I respect these types of parents. You GO, awesome moms!
Then there’s the second type. The type of mommy blog that I can’t fucking STAND. I call them the “martyr mommy” blogs.
Somewhere in their blog title, tagline, or header graphic is something to the effect of “The daily stresses of an overworked and overtired mommy-wommy!” Their entire identity is wrapped up in one aspect of their life: the fact they reproduced. They have globbed onto the fact that their eggs work and have made it the only basis of their self-worth. So that’s all they blog about. Ever. And most of the mommy martyr bloggers consider themselves to be the first person to reproduce ever, because surely no one knows of the stress and strain they go through every day! NO ONE has ever worked as hard as they do, even other parents! To hear them tell it, every day is stress, stress, stress and they are frazzled! They are so busy, they don’t know whether they’re coming or going! They’re losing their minds!
You could have the most stressful job on the planet. You could dismantle bombs for a living as your full-time job, perform kidney transplants for orphans on the weekends, and work a third job at night, but that’s NOTHING compared to the work and stress martyr mom has looking after little Johnny.
Every day they sacrifice tirelessly for their husband and children, and by God they’re not going to let you forget about it for a second! But then, at the very last minute, their child gives them a kiss or looks like an angel while sleeping, and it’s moments like those that make all of the mommy martyrs’ saintly sacrifices worth while.
These people only want to talk about their kids and their workload in attending to said kids. They don’t want to talk about their own feelings (unless it’s resentment over being overworked), their hopes and dreams, their hobbies. Their personality or any other aspect of life is unimportant now.
They’re not only doing their kids a favor by raising them (excuse me, these kids didn’t ask to be born), but they’re doing the WORLD a favor because their DNA is so superior that they had the duty to reproduce, and we should all be in awe over their sacrifices, and thankful that their superior genetics are being propagated.
These women have no identity outside of their children. They care nothing about politics and current events. And most of all, no one on the planet works as hard as they do, or can possibly understand what sacrifices they go through every day! Because until this mommy martyr gave birth, no one ever did the job as perfectly as she does it!
You may have spotted the mommy martyr blogger in real life. She’s the one taking up handicapped parking spaces at the store with her tanker-size SUV, talking on the cell phone while driving 30 mph under the speed limit on the freeway while screaming at her vanload of kids in the back seat, and cutting in line in front of you at Starbucks because her time and her effort is more valuable than yours.
I have no doubt that ALL mothers work hard, and they all have a right to bitch sometimes. This I don’t mind.
But when you define yourself solely on your children, while also feeling that the work you do to raise your children is an everyday sacrifice that deserves sainthood, then I worry about you. I feel sorry for your children (and their future spouses, because you are never going to let go of them). And I CERTAINLY don’t want to read your blog.
Of course, because you have the audacity to think that kind of drivel sucks ass, you are no doubt just hating on the breeders, anti-family, bitter and jealous! Because, you know, who wouldn’t want that life for themselves? Barf.
Comment by mac — Wednesday, July 20, 2005 @ 12:37 pm
I think you forgot a category - “the cool, stunningly beautiful, worked off her ass but has brains and is always funny even though she has constant css problems” mam - cough - that would be me.
I yes, vomit vomit, I’d rather jab pins in my eyes than constantly read about nothing but dirty diapers.
Comment by Lynne — Wednesday, July 20, 2005 @ 5:06 pm
I love your brand of sarcasm. I was laughing so hard I was almost crying…. and this instantly brought to mind 2 or 3 particular mommy maryrs’ blogs.
Gack.
Comment by momof2ne — Thursday, July 21, 2005 @ 12:09 am
Oh this is awesome. I too came up with a few mommy blogs in my mind that describes this post to a ‘T’.
Comment by Susan — Thursday, July 21, 2005 @ 6:50 am
Like, o.m.g. Today has been so stressful. The kids? I had to dress them today.
Comment by Busy Mom — Thursday, July 21, 2005 @ 8:21 am
Nice to see you back hon
Comment by Angie — Thursday, July 21, 2005 @ 11:21 am
To be honest, I’ve never read a mommy blog like the first kind you mention. I”ve only ever read the endless, tedius, Johnny did this today, and Johnny said that today kind.
I love kids.
I’ve worked with kids for a long time, and sometimes they really are amazing, but most of the time they just are, like the rest of us.
I’m disappointed by some bloggers who were really talented writers until they reproduced and then their blogs became endless observations of every day goings on.
I’m sorry, but I guess that’s what happens when you don’t leave the house much for over a year or more.
I find it excruciatingly boring. In fact during surgery, instead of anesthesia, Doctors should use these bloggers to render their patients unconscious for the operation.
Comment by radmila — Thursday, July 21, 2005 @ 9:46 pm
good lord, how i agree with this post.
i remember someone wrote on this subject a while back and militant mommy-bloggers attacked them in droves. it was unbelievable.
Comment by marie b. — Friday, July 22, 2005 @ 1:01 am
Girl, shutup! you’re making me laugh.
Comment by Dennis — Friday, July 22, 2005 @ 7:59 am