Yesterday, I was talking to another nurse at the jail, and I asked her about treating inmates that have committed crimes that she found particularly reprehensible. She of course said that treating child molesters, especially incestuous child molesters, was difficult for her.

I started trying to think about what my limit would be. Of course, nobody likes a child molester, but I can distance myself from the reality of such a heinous crime since I was neither a victim as a child, nor do I have children now.

Would it be rapists? Because goddam I hate me some motherfucking rapists! Wifebeaters? As a former receiver of emotional and physical domestic abuse, I would think that would be it, but half of the guys in there have restraining orders against them and it hasn’t bothered me so far.

Then later, I was talking to another nurse who told of working a prison riot in a different state. I never realized how many times the most horrible details of crimes are not released to the public, and this prison riot was no exception. She told of what the inmates did to other prisoners. Horribly tragic. But then she told of what the rioting inmates did to the guards, and it was then I felt it. That overwhelming hate and anger towards a perpetrator of a crime that I couldn’t squelch or control.

That one thing I don’t think I could look past, even long enough to be professional for 30 seconds, is a crime against a law enforcement officer.

So I’ve discovered my own personal “hot button”, and it’s up to me to figure out how to get over it before I actually have to face an inmate who has raped, shot, or killed someone in law enforcement.

Don’t get me wrong… I would never withhold appropriate medical care from anybody.

But how do you treat an inmate professionally when the whole time you just want to scream at them: “I HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL, YOU MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABORTED!”