I’m about to leave for day 4 of my new job as an RN at the jail. So far, I find the inmates much more courteous to the nurses than patients in the hospital are. Of course, many lie and try and manipulate you, but it’s to be expected, and truthfully it’s no different than working on EMS or in the ER.

The funny thing is that people really cop a ‘tude (ha ha, get it? “Cop” a tude? I slay me!) when I say I’m working in a jail. They act like it’s the bottom of the barrel, like I’m too scummy or incompetent to get any other job.

Truth is, this is much better than working in a hospital. Sure, I’d rather have a desk job and never have to interact with another patient or doctor again, but this is just fine in the meantime. Although the inmates often want a constant flow of pills for EVERYTHING, even if you don’t give it to them they seem to appreciate just being treated like a human being.

Think about how awful it would be if we all walked around with a sign on us that listed the most horrible, low crap we’ve ever done in our lives, and that everyone we met read the sign first and judged us on only those lowest, most despicable actions. Would be awful, wouldn’t it? I imagine that’s how these inmates feel.

I think the scariest part of it for me is that, after talking to some of these people, I find they are really not any different than myself or anyone else I know.

Of course, it’s impossible to find sympathy for the guy who is in jail for his 8th DUI or for being a sex offender, but some people are in their for just one mistake, and this mistake is going to haunt their lives. They had to tell their employer they were in jail. If in for a while, they lose their house and may be in financial ruin by the time they get out. If convicted, they will have to list their offense on every job application. They run up huge lawyer bills. But most of all, their self-esteem takes a nose dive.

As one woman said to me: “I never thought I’d be in a place like this. This is not who I am!”

Not only do others see you differently from that point on, but you see yourself differently, and it’s defeating.

I am treated like less of a human being by many people I meet since I gained weight. No eye contact, not treated with the same courtesy as a thin person would be, and treated like being fat somehow equals being stupid or worthy of scorn. Can you imagine how people with a record are treated?

With the judgmental attitude people have today, is there ever really such a thing as someone who has paid their debt to society? I strongly suspect there isn’t, and that people who end up in jail continue paying that debt over and over. If you’ve been in jail, I don’t think that mistake is ever really behind you. And that gives you even less to lose if you mess up again, so why try?

It makes me sad.