Condom Holes
When my little brother Mike was in 7th grade, we were looking at baby pictures of him. Like many newborns, he had a “conehead” in his newborn pic.
My mother had let it slip a few months earlier that she had gotten pregnant with Mike, even though her and dad had used a condom. She made me swear not to tell him.
*insert evil, foreshadowing laugh here*
I was teasing Mike about his “conehead”, and it seemed to bother him, which to siblings is always a signal to tease more.
Me: “You know why you have such a pointy head in those pictures, don’t you?”
Mike (growing even more visibly upset): “Um, no…”
Me: “Because mom and dad had used a condom, but the sperm went through a hole in the condom, which made a pointy baby, because the sperm had to be pointy to squeeze through the condom hole!”
Then the big surprise — my 7th grade brother not only believed this ridiculous joke, but started crying!
Sorry, Mike. You’re 34 years old now. Hope you’re over the trauma I inflicted!
And this is precisely why I would NEVER have told anyone if one of my kids had been an “accident”. None of them were, but I sure wouldn’t have said so if they had been.
I hope your brother is over the trauma.
Comment by Judy — Saturday, July 9, 2005 @ 12:18 pm